Category: Quick and dirty

A bit of a heads up.

On By longandshortofitallIn Conditions of Travel, Quick and dirty, Random but worthyLeave a comment

Alright. How are we all today? Good? Fantastic. Quick word with the couple of dozen of you excellent and discerning folk who regularly frequent this site (and anybody that chooses to join such illustrious company in the near future).

To start with, I’d like to direct you over to Evade Gismo. It’s a blog written by a co-worker of mine and his brother. It’s been going for a couple of months now (though I was only made aware of it recently), and is obviously still a work in progress as any new and old blog always is, but I like the aesthetic, they’ve got high ambitions and the style is not altogether dissimilar to how I write over here. The main reason I’m mentioning it, however (aside from giving a shout-out to a mate’s work of course, which is a given), is that there’s been a bit of talk about regularly contributing to their site. Not sure when, what or how, but I will make sure that anything published over there is at least re-blogged over here as well (since I’m bad enough at keeping up over here without dividing my content further). Anyway, I was thinking journaling and critiquing a playthrough of KotOR II now that it’s been released on Mac. What do you guys think? I think it could be fun.

Whatever happens, if it happens, probably won’t be for a few weeks mind you, and that segues half-neatly into item two on the agenda. I’m going travelling for a couple of weeks. My sister’s flying in from Australia and we’re gonna go for a terrific jaunt ’round the good old US-of-A. When am I going on this trip? That’s a great question voice in my head that sounds suspiciously like Sam Worthington practising his American accent. I’ll be climbing onto a 7am flight tomorrow down to LA. Should be good fun. That might make the next few weeks of updates here… difficult. The plan is that I will be updating a new Irrational irritations and other unnecessary issues every week (wifi willing) on Tuesday (wherever I happen to be time), but a few other posts I had planned for the next few weeks might have to wait ’til I get back. But, hey, I’ll take pictures. Can’t promise you guys’ll see any of them, of course, but pictures will be taken.

Alright then, that’s it for today. Just wanted to give you all a heads up. I’d just like to say that I appreciate all the people who are so patient with me and continue to check in regularly. Talk soon, and here’s hoping I’m more deserving of your attentions in the future.

Irrational irritations and other unnecessary issues (4/8/2015)

On By longandshortofitallIn Quick and dirty, Random but worthyLeave a comment

Today let’s talk about bicycles, trains and why a combination of the two is one of the worst possible things that can be inflicted on the world.

If you’re a long time reader then you might remember my feeling towards hopping on a bicycle ranges between telling people that I never do and threats involving circular saws. Turns out I have just as strong an opinion about other people who do cycle. Specifically, I have just as strong an opinion of people who decide to bring their bikes, their big, clumsy, awkward bikes, onto trains and buses with the rest of us. Because it’s fucking annoying.

You see it all the time on the train. Some hipster with a top-knot who’s parked his fixie across three seats. A bloke whose mountainous mountain bike blocks off half the carriage (and probably the doors as well) forcing the crowd that piles in after into a fraction of the space that should be available to them. Someone on their way to work risking a fine and the anger of their fellow commuters by bringing their carbon fibre monster onto the train against the rules during peak hour. A uni student trying to be helpful by lifting her bike vertically so it’s resting on it’s rear wheel, then being shocked when the rocking caused by a gentle bend sends the front wheel straight towards some poor bastard’s head (but god bless her, at least she’s trying). Another hipster leaving bruises and annoyed glares in their wake as they roughly shove another fixie in amongst the crowded carriage, then roughly drags it back out again at the next stop.

Not everyone who brings their bike on the train is a massive pain in everyone’s arse of course (#notallcyclists). I know a guy who always makes sure when he’s catching the train, after a long day of work and never during peak hour, to park his bike against the carriage doors that only open once on his entire trip home (and that’s his stop anyway). Plenty of people manage to get their bikes onto a train without pissing off everyone else. It just makes the inconsiderate ones look like even bigger jackasses.

So next time you’re thinking about dragging your bike onto the public transportation system, ask yourself two questions. The first is: “am I physically capable of getting this heavy lump of metal on and off the train without injuring, delaying or otherwise inconveniencing my fellow commuters?” The second question would be: “is the train so packed with people that it answers the first question for me?”

It it’s “no” to the former and “yes” to the latter, or even a maybe to either, than you probably shouldn’t be dragging your bike onto the train. Here’s an idea, how about instead you actually ride your bicycle to wherever you want to go instead. Ever thought about that? Fucking crazy thought, I know. But, hey, you guys are the ones always banging on about how cycling is a legitimate mode of transportation. So go and bloody prove it.

Irrational irritations and other unnecessary issues (27/7/2015)

On By longandshortofitallIn Quick and dirty, Random but worthyLeave a comment

It’s amazing the things that piss you off. I’m an easily offended, judgemental arsehole myself who’ll decide that an individual should be judged based upon a single bad habit or personality quirk. And I’m not talking about the big things that go into how we construct our individual identities like beliefs, preferences and biases. If you’re not hurting anybody then I’m not going to judge. No, I’m talking about ridiculous superficial shit. Like wearing a baseball cap at a uselessly jaunty angle. I hate people who wear baseball caps at uselessly jaunty angles so goddamn much. I try not to judge, but I do anyway. Because I’m a human being and that’s what we do. Judge. Bitch. Whine. Complain. So I’m gonna do something that I’m going to claim is constructive and start writing this stuff down in a series of light-hearted rants. Sometimes. Maybe weekly. We’ll see. Hopefully weekly. Let me know what you guys think, and we’ll see how long I can keep it up. Possibly. I get bored of this stuff too quickly sometimes. Moving on. Short one today.

This week’s topic is people who ask for water and don’t drink it. My great nemeses (that’s the plural for nemesis right? nemeses? I’ll google it later). This can be applied to people who don’t finish their drinks in general, but I take particular ire with people who don’t drink their water after they’ve asked for it. Why? Practicality mate. Practicality.

Y’see, working as a server (waiter) in a restaurant on a busy day, having to get water for a table as well as their paid beverages is a bit of a pain in the proverbial arse. That two minutes spent pouring glasses of water could be better spent taking orders or running food or making sure customers aren’t having violent allergic reactions to fucking kale or something. Seriously, I am bloody terrified by the possibility of customers having violent allergic reactions. I think most of us are.

But the getting of the water isn’t so much the problem, it is the not drinking of that water. I can carry a lot of empty glasses without a tray, stacking’em high and balancing them in the crook of my arm. I consider it a point of pride being able to clear a table without need for a tray. I fucking hate carrying full trays. I should always use trays but I don’t have the best balance, and I can actually usually carry more empty glasses than safely fit on a tray. Means that I can clear a recently vacated table without a tray as I pass it by. Means I can get a table cleared a lot faster for the next customer/s that needs it, which is good for everybody. But if the glasses are full, say, of water then I can’t stack the bastards. Need to go get a tray, come back, maybe have to make a second or third trip if it was a big table. Waste of everyone’s time that could be better spent making sure there aren’t any violent allergic reactions taking place. I’m a bit hung up on that tonight. Sorry ’bout that. Also, I hate using trays. So when customers don’t drink the water they asked for, it means they’re forcing me to use something I irrationally hate using. Maybe more than once. That’s not cool. Not cool at all.

I’m gonna throw it out there as well, there are a lot of places right now that are in the middle of some pretty severe droughts or don’t have access to clean water. Hell, here in Vancouver you’ve just got to look a few hours south at California, where they’re running out. So, yeah, you not drinking your water is basically mocking all those people who don’t have access it. That’s not cool either, you arrogant bastard.

Anyway. The message here is drink your goddamn water. Especially if you ask for it. Do it for me (or whoever’s serving you and clearing your table). Do it for Californians. Do it so you stay hydrated and healthy. Makes the hangovers easier the next morning.

Maybe next week I’ll talk about why people who don’t finish their drinks generally are arseholes as well. Or something else. We’ll see.

Worth not stepping on: Thoughts on Ant-Man

On By longandshortofitallIn Quick and dirty, Up for reviewLeave a comment
Not the easiest thing to do anyway.
Not the easiest thing to do anyway.

One of the most unfair criticisms leveled against Ant-Man (the latest superhero film from the good folk over at Marvel), well before the film was released, was that it was a movie no one asked for or wanted. I recall one re-blog that did the rounds on Tumblr when the titular blogging site had a “Ask the cast of Ant-Man” going on, “How does it feel starring in a movie no one asked for?” or something along those lines, receiving plenty of the internet equivalent of snickers and backslaps at such a brilliant witticism. Personally I found it all a bit fucking disingenuous. I mean, I understand where a lot of these detractors were and are coming from. I too would have really liked to see a MCU film with a female or POC lead a lot sooner than they’re coming (and am bloody stoked for the Captain Marvel and Black Panther films, both due in 2018). And, hell, there has been a pretty large voice crying out for a Black Widow led film (though it seems a lot of that’s cooled off a bit since the arguably disappointing character arc and dialogue in Age of Ultron).

But it feels like this ignores three key points. First, I’m sure there were plenty of people who were overjoyed to see the Ant-Man film. I mean, the guy had to have had some fans (and there must of been a few disgruntled fanboys and girls crying foul when Tony Stark constructed Ultron in the MCU instead of Hank Pym). Second, films are regularly made that aren’t asked for. We frequently don’t know what we want. Shit, I didn’t know how much I wanted a Captain America movie til it was made and looked awesome. In fact we’re normally overjoyed when a film is made that isn’t a sequel (even if it is part of a larger franchise or broadly shared universe, like the Pixar films). Third, why can’t we have both? Marvel studios and their Disney overlords are an enormous empire with plenty of talent to choose from, the millions to spend and an audience that is still eating out of the palm of their hands. Getting a She-Hulk, Spider-Woman or Falcon movie out between AoU and Ant-Man would not have been impossible. Blaming Ant-Man for being made when other possibly great films aren’t just doesn’t sit well, ’cause it is not the film’s fault that they weren’t made.

Mind you, it doesn’t much matter. The film still topped the Friday box office and will likely do very well this weekend. It’s had pretty decent reviews by critics and the public. I also doubt very much the pre-release criticism had anywhere near the attention on social media that the abso-bloody-lutely delightful advertising campaign for the film managed to spark (tiny bilboards? Brilliant!) Most people who’d read this would probably even be surprised that this non-issue came up at all, anywhere. It’s a criticism I wanted to quickly address, however, because the aim was right even if the target was wrong.

I went and saw Ant-Man Friday with one of my housemates. It was good. Sharp dialogue, plenty of physical humour, a creative and satisfying climactic battle. Paul Rudd is funny in his non-threateningly charming way, with a strong emotional range that leads to a light-hearted pay-off. Corey Stoll’s character Darren Cross (eventually the Yellow-Jacket and villain through the entire film) is appropriately menacing and more than a little crazy, with his abandonment issues and desire for Hank Pym’s (Michael Douglas) respect (though I can’t help but feel he’s a bit of a copy-paste of Iron Man 3‘s Aldrich Killian). Evangeline Lilly is competent as Hope van Dyne, Hank Pym’s sort-of estranged daughter. But the father/daughter relationship could have used a lot more fleshing out. There’s supposed to be an enormous rift between the two but we never really see it (both characters coming off pretty one dimensional in the process) and the predictable confession and forgiveness scene doesn’t have any serious punch. Some of the best laughs come from Michael Peña’s role as Luis, the fast-talking, surprisingly-cultured ex-con/still-a-bit-crooked best friend of Ant-Man. He plays the role of comically stupid without ever appearing incapable, incompetent or unlikeable, and that is a true skill (and mark of a well-scripted character).

I can’t bring myself to give the kind of glowing recommendation to see it in the cinema that I gave to Guardians of the Galaxy. It falls into following too-predictable-cliches and  too-recognizable-tropes for that.The training montage, for instance, where the highly competent female supporting lead teaches the bumbling male how to do the role she should be doing. Thankfully it doesn’t go all the way (Hope is still a more competent hero at the end of the film, and Scott is given the role of Ant-Man over her because he’s expendable rather than ‘The Special/Chosen/Prophesied one). It’s a good film though. Funny. Clever. Worth watching. I think the best way to put is that you won’t regret it if you see it in the cinema. At the very least it’ll get a few laughs.

And the US Women’s Team have done it!

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The pre-game shift was intense but manageable. Families decked out in the red, white and blue, a few young folk who may have been wearing the same kit since the Independence day celebrations the night before, the odd pair in blue jerseys sporting a rising sun painted on their cheeks, piling in to get a feed and a beer or three in them before heading off to the stadium where the price of hotdogs rises exponentially and the only alcohol available is a choice cat-piss or watered-down cat piss. The rush was over by about 3, the last of the customers off to watch the game live gone by 20-to. Vancouver woke up yesterday to a sky of red and yellow, a layer of smoke and ash from one of the many raging wildfires colouring the sunlight like stained glass. I growled out a greeting along the lines of “something’s on fire” to one of my room mates and remembered a few of the blood red sunsets I’d seen back home. By the time the day was over the city would be reminiscent of old stereotypes of London covered in smog and the air would taste like ash. But before then two teams of women, one from across the sea in Japan and the other from across the border in the USA, needed to sort out who’d be wearing the crown as queens of football for the next four years, and everyone was expecting a hell of a match.

And it fuckin’ was. One of the bartenders and I ducked into one of the places nearby to grab some food that we hadn’t had a hundred times before and keep an eye on the game, with her boyfriend due to join us there. We settled in to what I’d heard predicted time and again would be a long, low-scoring battle of attrition between two top teams. My co-worker ducked off not long after kick-off to the restroom. Not long after that the Americans had a corner. I was watching with some interest, expecting the Japanese to go on the counter-attack as soon as… Holy shit the Americans scored. A section of the back wall and corner of the restaurant burst into cheers and it didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure out where they were from. My friend came back.

“The Americans just scored,” I said.

She responded with some equivalent of “No way!”

Then the Americans scored again. The back wall of patrons exploded in cheers again. I think I swore quite loudly. My friend was shocked at how little time had passed since the beginning of the game. I began trying to assure her (and myself) that the Japanese could recover, that being 2-nil down wasn’t the end of the world. They could still win it.

Then they scored a third goal. Bloody hell. Was that the same girl who scored the second? I was sure it was the same who’d scored the first. Yep. Nup. Carli Lloyd scored the first two. Lauren Holliday scored the third. Right. Good. Bit of variety in their scoring. Could the Japanese still-

Nope. Carli Lloyd scores again, for her third and final goal of the match and the USA sit at 4 nil. I can’t see the timer on the television, since I’m a touch short-sighted (just barely legal to drive without glasses) so I check my watch. Christ. It’s only been about fifteen minutes. Great goal though, straight over the Japanese goalie who’d strayed too far from her line, kicked from the American half of the field. Even still, she almost reached it. Almost…

My colleague’s boyfriend arrived, we ordered food, and didn’t pay near as much attention to the game. I look over everytime part of the restaurant cheers, but the result had been more or less decided. The Japanese fight back, and a 5-2 loss has a little less sting than a 4-0 loss would. Maybe. Possibly. Probably still sucks. But goddamn, well done Team USA. A well-earned and well-deserved win. I’m positive the Matildas would’ve beaten you in what would have been a fantastic second outing, but such is life. They’ll get you at the Olympics next year. Yes, they will. Yes, they will. It doesn’t matter if I’m biased, so are you! Well, we’ll just see, won’t we?

We had to return to work before the end of the game and watched the trophy ceremony while preparing for the inevitable post-game rush of Yanks celebrating what was a fantastic victory.

Something that was a little disappointing was the number of people cheering for the Japanese out of an attitude of wanting “anyone but the Americans” to win. It seems a little bitter, doesn’t it? I myself was cheering for the Japanese, mainly because when given the choice I tend to cheer for an Asian team playing. We come from that group, and showing some solidarity for our fellow Asian teams seems like the right thing to do. I’d certainly rather a country cheer for the Aussies out of a sense of fraternity and respect than because they don’t like where the other team was born. Then again, I also quite like Americans. They’re polite, friendly, outgoing, helpful, generous, understanding and tip well. I’m quite happy to not judge them by the stupider members of their society (same as I’d appreciate them not judging every Aussie by their experience of Queenslanders). They also came out in force to support their national women’s team, which is a lot more than I can say for a lot of other nationalities with teams in the World Cup.

So, as I said. Well done Team USA. You played fucking brilliantly and deserved the win. Good luck in the future, and next time we meet the Aussie ladies are going to crush you.

Not quite Writer’s Block

On By longandshortofitallIn Quick and dirty2 Comments

Bloody hell it’s tough to write sometimes. I think we all know that. It often seems like most of the people who read blogs are aspiring (or successful) writers themselves. I know I am (aspiring that is). So we all know how tough it is to write sometimes. Writer’s block, and all that shit. It happens. I’m rambling a bit. Probably because I’ve got a touch of the block at the moment. Or do I? Maybe. Maybe it’s just that life’s been getting in the way. Fuckin’ life.

I’ve got about four different drafts currently cluttering up my dashboard in various stages of incompleteness for the past few weeks, but for the past few weeks my writing schedule (which I’d only recently started getting to grips with) has been a bit fucked. A bunch of last minute additional and split shifts at work (partly as a result of me never saying no to more hours and more pay… Australians are a deceptively hard working bunch) and the need to search for a new place to live (ah, Craigslist, where everybody spells quite instead of quiet, advertisements – legit or otherwise – are aimed at FEMALES ONLY and grammar is an optional extra) has left me with few of the long periods I usually like to write in. Instead I’ve been working in twenty minute or so blocks, getting a hundred words down then coming back later or the next day unable to transition back into the train of thought that led to that hundred words. Wondering what the hell was the point I was trying to make. Rewriting. Maybe coming back with a different topic and starting yet another draft post. Giving up and heading over to Youtube instead.

Half a cold hasn’t helped. I say half because I’ve only seemed to have half the usual symptoms at a time. The really annoying thing is that it’s left my ears blocked and me three quarters deaf. I’ve got some drops that are meant to clear them up but so far all they’ve done is left me with a soar neck from tilting my head so they don’t leak out. Is that gross? That might be a bit gross. Sorry about that.

Anyway. Hopefully I’ve got some time right now to do a bit of writing. Finish something other than a rambling excuse for why I haven’t been as active as I should. Also using it to catch up on some shows and stuff… So that I have some topics for upcoming posts. Yeah. That’s it. Have you watched Daredevil yet? Go watch Daredevil. It’s pretty awesome. Now I gotta go tilt my head for an hour, because I want to be able to hear again soon.

Fuckin’ life.

An icon leaves us

On By longandshortofitallIn In the News, Questions of culture, Quick and dirtyLeave a comment

Lap scan edited

The news came through on Friday that Leonard Nimoy, the man who was and always will be Spock, died at the age of 83. News sites, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, and all the other places where our collective culture gets its information filled with headlines that generally were some version of “He lived long and prospered.” Forums and more artistic social media walls or feeds quickly filled with fanart, photos, quotes, tribute pieces and more than a few animated gifs. An important part of popular culture, an inspiration and mentor to millions has died, and the act of collective mourning has been amazing.

Now of the many fandoms that I might claim membership in, Star Trek was never one. I’ve seen enough episodes and know enough about the various series/characters/plots/context/surrounding-culture to be able to reasonably discuss it, but truthfully William Shatner’s role as Denny Crane on Boston Legal (particularly his platonic relationship with James Spader’s Alan Shore) had far more influence over me during my formative years than Captain Kirk ever did or ever could have. But that doesn’t change the fact that Leonard Nimoy, Mr goddamn Spock, has just died and it’s fucking hard to not feel that loss.

Mocked, parodied, tributed, influenced, referenced in. Star Trek has influenced popular culture at a level that only a handful of other franchises can claim to have reached, and the characters of its original series (movies, and to an extent the characters of the sequel series) will always be associated with the actors that played them. Try as he might in the new movies, Zachary Quinto will never be the Mr Spock (and that’s alright, let him build his own legacy). Add in his prolific career beyond Star Trek and social activism and Nimoy was, like few others, a secular saint. His death has left a grand hole in our cultural cosmology that I don’t see being filled any time soon.

It happens. People seem to have processed his death and worked, written, drawn and animated their way through it. He was an old man. He’d been sick for a while. Unlike the deaths of other icons like Robin Williams or Michael Jackson his mortality had been apparent for some time. We knew it was coming. That doesn’t make it less sad, but it does make it easier to process.

Rest peacefully Mr Nimoy. Sleep well Mr Spock.

What’s happening in the near future with me and this site.

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Six days to go. Six days ’til I climb onto a 777 with whatever worldly belongings I can stuff into my backpack. Six and a half ’til I climb off the plane in a new city, in a new country, and see how hard it is to try and make a life somewhere completely different. Six days. That’s not bloody long, is it?

Honestly, I’ve been trying not to think about it too much. Or at all. That’s how I cope. I procrastinate. I’m still procrastinating (still haven’t booked a hostel to stay at when I initially land, while I look for more permanent accommodation). But it’s really hitting me now. The going away party has been partied. Friends and loved ones are vying for my time. The doubts are starting to build up. The stress is taking its toll. Y’know how people stress-eat? I stress-un-eat, lose my usually impressive appetite. I’m not panicking ’cause I’m not one to panic unnecessarily, I just become a shitload more temperamental, more easily frustrated and angered. That might be worse.

Six days. Christ, not long at all. Then I’ll be in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada instead of Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. Watching hockey instead of cricket. Hunting down late night poutine instead of kebabs. Getting drunk in ‘historic’ Gastown instead of ‘hipster’ Newtown. Drinking shit North American coffee instead of amazing Australian coffee. Doesn’t sound too bad, aside from that last part. Still, six days. Fuckin’ terrifying.

As for the site, well I’m going to try very, very hard to keep it from turning into yet another travel blog. God knows the only thing the internet needs less is food blogs. I am also going to try very, very hard to get into regular updates. That might be a little while coming, what with the massive transitional phase and unknown access to the internet, but I’ll try to do it sooner, rather than later. I’ve slowed down a bit lately as well, because as much as I like writing, the stress has made it feel too much like work. So I’ve been procrastinating over posts. I’ll stop that. Promise. Tomorrow.

Got some plans for the future. Going to finish what I want to write about DA:I, vent some issues with CoD: Advanced Warfare, enjoy the political situation a bit more (it’s become pretty hilarious lately), try and stay a bit more current and topical. I’m also gonna do some changes to the lay-out (getting a bit tired of the grey), get some more regular sketches up, maybe fork out for a proper domain name etc, etc.  So keep an eye on this space, yeah?

Six days. Goddamn. Thanks for reading folks, wish me luck.

It’s Boycott Barbie!

On By longandshortofitallIn In the News, Quick and dirtyLeave a comment

I heard something weird on the news today. The Australian Greens – who hold a balance of power in the Senate even if they can’t get out of a protest party mentality – were throwing their support behind a campaign called No Gender December, a movement run by organisation Play Unlimited. The goal of the campaign is to discourage the idea that certain toys should be off limits to children because of their gender and gender stereotypes by encouraging children to play with whatever they want to play. Basically buying them the toys they want, not the toys social constructs say they want. I quite like the campaign and agree with what it’s trying to achieve, and I personally believe that the gendered separation of toys is fucking ridiculous (boys vs. girls, boys vs girls, etc), a situation best resolved by consumers voting with their wallets. The weird part was when the Greens connected gendered play to domestic violence, with Greens Senator Larissa Waters stating that:

“Outdated stereotypes about girls and boys and men and women perpetuate gender inequality, which feeds into very serious problems such as domestic violence and the gender pay gap.”

Wait, what?

“While such serious problems seem so far removed from choosing children’s toys, it’s important that we think about this issue – especially when so many children’s toys are being bought.”

Quote sourced from article.

Alright then. No, no, this is still a “what?” moment.

I hate stuff like this. Listen I know there’s causal links between the promotion of traditional ideas of masculinity (and femininity) and domestic violence, but this instance is trying to turn correlation into causation. Most people will simply dismiss such a claim straight away. Unfortunately many of those people will then dismiss the entire campaign and movement (who at no point on their website that I saw actually make any claims that gendered play causes domestic violence), as many politicians already have.

That’s a shame, because it’s a good thing they’re trying to promote.

Nope, can’t think of one.

On By longandshortofitallIn In the News, Questions of culture, Quick and dirtyLeave a comment

Well, I’m gonna guess that it’s safe to assume everyone’s heard about the assault by a lone gunman on the Canadian Parliament and War Memorial (where an unarmed soldier was killed). A senseless act of violence, and apparently not the only senseless act of violence perpetrated in Canada by another senseless jackass cloaked in the figurative banner of Jihad (though the police are saying the two acts are unconnected). I can’t speak for the media in Canada, but the news down here in Oz was a weird – but not unexpected – mix of pollies (and people in the know) saying “we’re good, we take safety seriously and are confident in the strength of our counter-terrorism measures to stop something like this happening here,” and others saying “we’re so much like Canada! It could happen here too! Be afraid! Be very afraid!” This followed an incident earlier in the week when Australians were once again reminded that we should be scared of young, angry, Muslim men/boys, after a 17 year old twat from Western Sydney ranted on an Islamic State propaganda film. It seems radical Islam is still frightening.

I’m a firm believer that the greatest threat to radical Islam is moderate Islam, and one the best ways to strengthen moderate Islam is through inclusiveness, positive example and normalisation in our media, writing characters that for whom their religion is a defining characteristic rather than the defining characteristic. To strengthen the Islamic community within the greater community and combat ignorance. At some point in the future I’d like to write about this in a bit more detail, but had a thought I felt like sharing. You see while I was at work monotonously packing boxes (gotta pay for this decadent blogger’s lifestyle somehow, hookers and cocaine ain’t cheap) something occurred to me. I could not think of a single Muslim character on what is probably the pinnacle of western pop-culture, perhaps the most pervasive show in the world. I could not remember seeing any named, speaking Muslims in The Simpsons. Seriously, try and think of one. A google search brought up a kid named Bashir and his parents with the surname ‘Bin Laden’ (sigh) in an episode where Homer thinks Bashir’s dad is a terrorist (I’ve seen kicks to the face with more subtlety) from Season 20 in 2008 (showing just how long it’s been since I watched The Simpsons regularly). If the kid’s wikia page can be trusted he’s only appeared in four episodes, including the first, in the last six years. That’s it.

That’s a bit weird. I mean, I can think of Hindus, Buddhists, multiple Jews and atheists all part of a regularly recurring and literally colourful cast (even if it is a little light on Asian characters beyond the traditional stereotypes). But apparently there’s only one Muslim kid and his parents in the entire of Springfield, used in a blunt force morality tale about how ‘not all persons of Middle Eastern appearance are terrorists.” Doesn’t seem very inclusive or normalising.