Hey guys, welcome back for another week of Irrational Irritations, the first on our new fortnightly timetable. Did you miss them? Of course you did. Let’s begin with a quick shoutout to my Canadian homies who’ve just had their Thanksgiving long weekend. It was fun and I’ve learnt that pumpkin pie does in fact hold its own as a legitimate dessert option. Then we’ll follow that up with today’s topic: recommending bars and restaurants to people who turn out to be tight-arses.

It comes with the territory of working in the hospitality industry. People are out and about, putting the present in the past and planning for the future (paying their bill and deciding where to go next). Often enough they’ll turn to me and ask without any of Nicki Minaj’s righteous (and justified) fury, “What’s good?”

Well I’m half a hipster, young, charming and lightly bearded, so I tend to get out and about to some pretty decent watering holes. And I’ll tell people where my favourite places to go are and what you’ll get there (best cocktails are at… if you just want a beer… for more of a clubbing scene…) while I’m clearing their plates and glasses, dropping off their bill or collecting their payment. Not surprising since those are the times when I have longest to answer their questions.

Now, more often than not I feel pretty good about the whole situation. I’m sending customers towards people I like and who appreciate that I’ll recommend someone their way when asked. That’s great. Every so often, however, every so often when I look at the size of the tip left by these customers, well I regret it. Because I’ve sent someone who thinks that a zero to five percent tip is appropriate at a North American bar or restaurant towards people I like who also rely upon the generosity of customers to, y’know, pay their rent.

And that leaves me feeling guilty for recommending so many places. So, if you’re not gonna tip properly, don’t ask the bartender or server for recommendations. Because you’re making us feel like arseholes as well.